Fear

I always thought the day we finally took the decission I would be jumping and smiling and butterflies would fly around me. Instead of that, I was terrified. Not because I don't like the idea, but I realized just then that I'm not really prepared for it. I love you and I love the idea of having you around all the time, but I suddenly realized that, in order to have that I had to give up my personal time. I've always been mostly alone and I guess I grew used to it. And though I often find myself bored to death, imagining I won't have that time anymore really scared me. From time to time I need to pull off the plug and isolate me from the rest of the world.
And I'm also afraid of what routine could do to us. I hate routine -although I tend to get into it quite easily- I get very angry and sad every time I realize I'm living trapped in one. And if we fell into a routine... I don't really wanna know what would happen to me... or to us. Most of the little arguments we have had have been for small things, and living together is full of small things.
In conclussion, I'm really scared. I'd like to be happy, but I'm not.
I will try though. And I hope the love we have for each other is bigger than my fear.